itch.io

Ok, i began the new update wanting to get my first taste of revenge and ended it wanting to wife Marky crazy-ass, like why? Why do you need to get me feeling things for the asshole?!!!!

I will say that I was not expecting to like this, but as I read it as a joke I ended up loving the experience. 10/10 will come back for more.

This is so cool

For this update, as awesome as it was i found an error. Aiden came with me in the journey yet this (Screenshots) shows up only after the choice to convince C not to fight.

Ah and i don't get why mc is angry with the blacksmith? Maybe it wasn't clear enought? I mean he did called them butterflies but i just don't think that's enought reason to get that angry? And is Aiden never an option when Mc thinks of an Ro after the fight? Or I just didn't get enought affection for it to show up?

Screenshots with Spoilers from the same playthrough

I can say that this is a very interesting project. There were many instances where my experience wasn't the best, mainly because of technical errors, so ignoring all the times that MC or other characters were misigendered, or my choices were changed like Mc's height or even my choice on the hair size, in the end I saw that you have never made a game like this before, and as someone who actually tried it and was overwhelmed by the complexity of making an IF I can say that despite everything I finished it all because your idea for this story still shines throught and I hope you go along with it despite my critics below.

Spoilers

Now about the story itself, I will be considering this one as more like a first draft than anything else, and as any first drafts it's rought around the edges as it should be, after all this is, as you said, your first experience, so i hope this helps you to polish this gewel that this IF is shaping up to be.

ok, character by character then:

Rheling was the first character that irked me, and not in the way you may have wished for it to, he didn't irk me because he's a slime antagonist, but more like how his relationship with Mc was so dawn inconstant. I wanted to hate him for the childmurderer he is, but look there, Mc is having a peaceful lunch with him not a sign of tension to be seen in this beautiful afternoon. I wanted to hate him even if he had more depht than what is shown because Mc should hate him at first, but look there Mc isn't even scared of him and not in the this-is-hopeless way but more in the knowing-that-there-would-be-no-repercussion way, even thought there should be and they should be harrowing.

I get Mc trowing a fit of rage, breaking down, or being cold to hide how wounded or scared they are but there was so much inconstancy in how Mc acted in relation to him that what shoud be a fiery reunion gave me embers instead, I felt nothing for him and can't help but think that he left me the impression of an annoying strangled uncle much more than the true tirant High Emperor he should be, his relationship with Mc is an umpleasant mix of hot and cold, where I could enjoy neither.

Now Mc, Mc has no logic behind their actions or thoughts.

Mc, a prisoner that does not know why they're still alive just that it isn't good not for themselves or for what's left of the people still loyal to them. Never even think of running away even tho that's all they where good for before getting caught and hasn't even lost half a second to think of how to use their own situation to their advantage either, Mc a person that as a child had to run away because Rheling hunted and killed their own family trusts the genocidal's capitan and a mercenary, two of the worst people to risk putting their or anyone else's safety in, even though for years Mc seemingly trusted no one and was found alone, but suddently now they trusted those two enought to talk to a lost friend and possibly last loyal person left in front of them and put him at risk for a chance of this not being used against them later. 

"Vaenath hums lightly. "You know, for being the murderer of your family, I thought you'd call him, like, stupid fat troll or something. Not his name. And not so casually.""

Mc a person that has uncontrolable magic showed a sliver of their power against Rheling, a man that, for all we know killed the imperial family because of this very magic, Mc threatened him in his own home, surronded by enemies but was taken to the doctor to be treated for their trouble instead of facing the real danger of showing their fangs at the wrong moment, revealing the only card they had against the High Emperor that thought they were powerless in the meantime, those and so much more makes me think that Mc is getting princess treatment more than anything.

(All of this just makes me hope that the High Emperor may one day finally show some balls before he is overthrow by his own people that just might think he's not worth the power his name was supposed to have, as that's a completly reasonable conclusion to reach after seeing the way he lets Mc get away with shit.

 And I have hope for Mc to finally act less like a kicked puppy that once angry at it's owner decides to pee on their carpet as revenge, because that's all they can do abt it, Mc isn't powerless their just plain stupid and Rheling acts as if there aren't ears all around him now that there may be a competitor to his throne which is very much not the truth.)

Vaenath is a cliche, the selfcalled charming playfull dude that just might have layers to them but again why is he here thought? And how did he found out who Mc was? I mean I know Mc might've  sliped up, that's what they're here for, but for Vaenath to play misterious about it to make it seem as if he knew it all along sounds more contrived and poor planed instead of misterious and intriguin . And it's okay, Mc is blind as a bat, and as naive as a toddler, Vaenath may be acting like a bumbling fool to hide what he's actualy planing but what made me dobt it is:

The fight scene. How they acted in the middle of a fight, for a mercenary I just might mistake them as a childish manboy instead.

""Where is this coolness coming from?" Vaenath asks, sounding hurt. "Back in the day you were just some loser.""

Did he realy had to chose now to be buthurt about being left behind? I liked him more when he was at best an ornament instead of just getting in the way in the middle of what I thought was a dangerous situation. Just to be clear, it's ok to have a character be this way, but for an adult men, a mercenary called personaly by the High Emperor to act like this just sound boyish and petty, and if that's not how you want him to come across them maybe give some more thought on how to make this character make sense within this world, in the setting that he's in, in the type situation he finds himself and how the path he came from made him who he is now.

for example, just his work should change so much abt a character, like

Vaenath is a merc good enought to be called by the High Emperor himself, it means that he has worked as that for some time now, enought to get a good rep for it wich must have caught Rheling's attention, and I don't think a good guy Robin Hood autruistic type of person would've caught Rheling's attention, what speaks at leight about the type of things Vaenath must've done to get on his good graces, and as any good  hired gun he works for money and other types of profit rather than for political interests, wich means he's not thrustworth for neither the capitain nor mc, he's an unpredictable variable just for that, his friendship with Ysmri might tilt the balance a little more to one side but does not assure loyalty, if it did he wouldn't even be a merc at all, instead he'd be a soldier for the emperor and now he has full access to Mc the chosen one and access to important information from the emperors side too, I'd say he might as well play both sides untill one of them come on top because he'd get a win-win either way, so why would the emperor put him in such powerful position? And why would Ysmri trust this dude? If this were game of thrones he'd be the most powerfull person in the game just from how far his influence would reach, and by that I mean all over the board and in all its pieces.

Making Vaenath a merc  should completly shape the things he notice (like the blood on Ysmri's clothing would give him right away for a merc that would not live long if a detail like this passed right throught his notice) how he acts (in the fight, as a merc, facing danger would be second nature to him, he wouldn't wait to be ordered before doing something) ...

I think Vaenath needs a little foreshadowing, Mc might be clueless but little hints of Vaenath depth and hidden knoledge, like a knowing look when seeing Ysmri going back to deal with the bloody mess he must've left behind, a slight smirk when catching Mc lying, a cold analising look when meeting mc even if just for a second... Would make it much more convincing of that depth before it's suddently revealed, instead of sounding contrived and out of the blue.

Those are things that i think all characters might need a look into.

And finally there's the only character I liked, Ysmri, I like how he's the only person who has a lick of sense, but this is a critic and lest just say the way he acts so clueless is less than ideal.

How does it makes any sense that the High Emperor's captain knows nothing of his plans of who he's dealing with of the story of their own emperor? every word Mc says about their past confuses him, or how he treats Mc with a cold shoulder until out of nowhere he begins to warm up to them, was it this easy to melt Rheling's most trusted Capitan? A few hints of a troubled past? And if he's as emphatetic as he shows himself to be why even be the capitan of such a tyrant? never mind serving under Rheling, why would someone like him even get to be a capitan when they could do somenthing less violent? Then suddently he's killing what he considers bad people with no remorse as if acting in a very skewed sense of justice and I caught myself thinking why would Rheling trusts punisher Ysmri protector of innocents at all over here? Much less get him to babysit Mc, who might just colour his empathetic little heart against him? That's car crash waiting to happen wich just made me think Rheling is just as incompetent as his first impression showed him to be.

I tried to make this long rant half asleep so a portion of it might not make sense, yet I hope this helps the author and anyone who need's some tips. And again please don't be scared of making mistakes, because mistakes are a sign that you're trying, a mistake is to give up somenthing you love.

I miss this

[SPOILER] 

I have to say I really did think Zach was going to be Mc's double personality or smth, because in the end there was really nothing that made Mc essential to the plot (more of a self insert than anything central to the story) or special in any way to be spared by Zach. At the end I was asking myself the same thing Braxton and Artemis did once "Why did everyone else died but Mc?", even in the bad endings either Mc was convenently "sleeping" throught it all or they just were never mentioned. (dude this would fit so well, in my head at least haha)

Hopefully vitaeo makes a sequel or prequel of this game because besides that the plot was interesting, the characters lovable, and overall well writen, I even hoped for a yandere twisted romance with Zach because this dude sure have layers that i wish we could take more time to peel.

i love Demo so much Ohmygosh, but i must ask is Murmur special scene just a teaser for another game or is it going to be writen fully here?

do you have any plans to make a walkthrough?

height: tall has the  error (height is not defined)

I really liked this, but could you give a tip about the password?

Share those requirements please?

Thanks, it works and the ui is much better to read to, and truly Maddock made the wait worth it <3

Oh, i didn't know. I was using mobile to play.

i just can't make the side menu back off so that i can actually read

It works now, thanks <3

In my status it says that "Your favorite dessert is chocolate pie." And yet at meeting Chara Mc has only the option to say that they don't like chocolate. Is this a bug?

hmm it's been some time but from memory alone I don't think we can kiss Arke (yet hopefully) Emeric just said that to get a rise out of Mc and Arke, thing is that Mc says the same thing 2 times mc denies kissing Arke once and Emeri doesn't react and again afterwards leading to the next set of choices

(It seems not to be the case anymore. From a quick check up to the end of the demo the error isn't there anymore)

It should say "Uh, actually I'm painting a picture of me and my brother"

Mc deny abt kissing  Arke but Emeric said nothing abt that before

Does it ends here?

Very true 😬

Does the update ends here? Bc I can't get past this poit.

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Ok, so my Mc is a Oakburry and I still couldn't pass the status check to get the coins or the timepiece withouth being noticed and I can't chose to have a better sneak skill, so what do I do?

The pronouns don't seem to be working

Spoilers^^^

Ok I love this, the way you guys improved the first mc and Connor's relationship (just the most forgotten and wasted Ro from that game, so much so that I don't even remember if he had an arc of his own or was forgotten bc he didn't even had a valid enought reason to actually get into that mess *if he did it was so shallow that he was almost never seen throught it all so, meh~*) The relationship itself felt sudden/rushed compared to the other, more developed Ro's there, but here there's signs of their affection everywhere, much like one would expect from an already established relationship, instead of setting a new one up or just making them useless extras, wich is something that I don't see explored often and I love how he's actually involved instead of being a 3rd party watching from the outside, after all what's at stake in that?

I was plesandly surprised by Shadow (in my case) Noah and Mc1 too, I mean they were always sweet, but that was never enought in other games for me to want to  turn into their "cupid" before, but those two just fit so well that I can't believe they aren't ~canon~and I feel like I'm getting something I never thought I wanted but so badly needed, bc they have it all betrayal, history, love, and smidget of distrust and a live for the drama of it.

The way the Mc can finally have personality and be acknowledged by it is amazing, but what I am most glad abt (aside from getting my favorite choices game back) is the fact that I can finally play without worring for the damn diamonds and keys and start playing a sequence the way it ended up because choices didn't like to load stuff from previous games.

Can't wait to see what you guys have planned for Mc from the second game, much love for this project 😍😍

I rly liked it ♡ but is the game supposed to end when we chose Rayyan's gender? It crashes after that 😅

There's a problem with the eye choice being "blond"

 Wow, I love this new prologue, it's so much better. Things that were confusing before bc of the lack of information are now mysterious for the same reason, and I fell like it is overall better written now.

I really want to know how relationships will work out not only for the Mc, but between each Ro as well. You did a good job by making them have their own lives and relationships without overshadowing Mc or making Mc the center of their existence. Kinda made me invested in them outside of what they can be for Mc. (Wich is hard to do)

I'm curious about how MC's interaction with some Ro's will play out too, especially the ones that ~light spoiler~ were in the execution, whether they're entirely guilt or not, they all had a hand in what happened even if not directly, so I can imagine a MC that would hate or fear(even without meaning to) some of them, and how Mc would have to act like they've never met before even knowing what they do. And the drama is just *chefs kiss* perfect, can't wait for more after having a taste of this now.

Ohh I have so many questions, but first I could never get all the endings without the walkthrough so thanks. <3

All in all I feel like her happy ending should be alone - Not sure if there's a "original" or "official" ending, but it will always be the happier ending for me.
My opinion on the game didn't change tho, would play again 10/10 (^.^

Sort of spoilery
I was stuck for some time to get the "Letting go" endings bc I couldn't NOT chose to kill him again after his demands and load back to chose "end it all" and get the last 2 endings, but it always goes to the "After life" ending so it took me some time to know that I had to chose to kill him and right after when Doyle forces the game to go back is when I was meant to chose "end it all" to get the last endings.

Now my VERY spoilery questions

I tought that we were playing as Leah 'till when Doyle breaks the fourth wall demanding his happy ending to the player, wich was interesting and made sense for us not to get to change Leah in appearence or name because of that, but it opened new possibilities that didn't have any explanation in game like:
Does Doyle knows he's in a game? How does he knows of our presence? what are we in the game? Puppeteers (after all Doyle accuses us of manipulating and controlling Leah)

 And the most important question of all:
Am I overthinking this? (~.~

Is this game linked to another older or future project of yours? Bc after killing Doyle (not sure if in the first or second time) a voice talks to the player (perhaps?) asks if we remember them (yep, had to chose "no" for the creepy)  and that they are watching us, warning us not to bore them (not sure if they called us Anthea, Anatema or something else( didn't had my headphone so could only guess) but it made me question that if they really were talking to the player why would they call us that?)

And if it was indeed linked to another game I have to say that you sold it well bc I crave answers now hah

I loved the game, but a walkthrough would be very useful to get all the endings.

Aku was such a sweeatheart and the game know how to punch you in the guts if he (like me) is your favorite, but that's probably what made me appreciate him even more.

Spoiler*

I didn't get all endings but I do hope in one of them we turn yandere on the yandere :3

And yes Doyle you look like a Kyle <3

And how can we win the words game against Doyle? Bc I'm stuck (like when is the answer not "cat"? The answer is always cat T.T )

They're all so beautiful ♡

Spoiler*

 So just to check there's no way to visit Laurent at the hospital right? (Bc man did my heart hurt when mc declined the sugestion to go see him, like I get why but the heart want's what it wants T.T ) and if it's bc I did something wrong I just don't get what. So if someone could help i'd really like that.